The Ripple Effect

I have been reflecting on many things lately. This imagery/concept came to mind when I messaged a friend the other day.

When we look at our lives, do we cause/re-transmit ripples or simply deflect/absorb the energy of the ripples that come our way? I don't believe there should be an intent one way or another. It is more a measure of how we conduct ourselves in our relationships.

Many things can cause ripples. When I refer to ripples, I am referring to how we affect others in our lives. To me, the definition is open-ended. Ripples could be things like the following:

+ openly expressing yourself - talking, writing, singing, etc.
+ selfless actions - supporting those in your life, sacrificing for others, setting a good example for others, etc.


Many of these things involve taking a risk. I think the old adage "nothing ventured...nothing gained" applies. Are we willing to take risks knowing we could positively impact someone in our life? Again, this should not be the focus. Instead, think of whether our action(s) COULD positively impact someone else. I think this could then be one of many factors in our internal decision-making process. It should not be the determining factor though.

I hope we all can find a way to make ripples in our lives. We all have an opportunity to make a profound impact on others. You may never fully comprehend the impact your ripples have on those around you. That is why it is so important to occasionally "roll the dice."

What are you going to do the next time a ripple comes your way?

The Incomplete Roadmap of Life

Some recent discussions with a friend :)(: helped shift the focus I have on my life. I notice the scope of things switching from struggling with recent events to stepping back and reflecting on the "bigger picture." For the first time in years, I truly feel the sky can be the limit. On one hand this is exhilarating. On the other hand it is humbling to realize I did not always believe this to be the case.

When I look back over the course of my life, I realize I spent a great deal of time trying to figure out how/why certain things happened. This can be constructive to a point. It can be detrimental as well. There are certain events in our lives that either cannot be explained/fully understood or are not meant to be fully comprehended.

One of the benchmark moments in my life happened when I was twelve years old. I remember the day I heard my father took his life by way of a drug overdose. For many years I felt I needed to arrive at concrete answers as to how and/or why this happened. This also rocked any faith I had in God. I struggled with questions like "How can a loving God take a child's parent away so early in a child's life?" or "How does a loving God allow someone to suffer to the point they choose death over life?"

My faith journey is just that. It is a journey. Over the years I came to realize that many of my questions will never be answered. It comes down to whether I am able to truly acknowledge that or not. If not, I could spend a lifetime searching for answers that do not exist.

There are other traps we can fall into:

+ dwelling on past choices
+ ruminating about future possibilities

We do not want to discount our past or approach the future haphazardly. Instead, we need to arrive at a balance. If we get too hung up on the past (or the future) we will not be able to experience the present.

I have heard the phrase "when one door closes another one opens." It is a simple statement. It captures the essence of our experiences though. We can either embrace our current and future opportunities or focus our energy on what could have been, wonder why something happened, etc.. I think the same could be said about the relationships in our lives.

Our world has gotten much smaller thanks to the Internet. Do we embrace the opportunities offered by this "smaller world" or limit ourselves to older notions when it comes to the relationships in our lives? If we do not approach things with an open mind we might miss a chance to help others, learn more about ourselves, etc..

I recently had some in-depth conversations with a friend online. Should I discount the impact this person might have on my life simply because we do not live across town from one another? We talked about this. We could both expend time and energy trying to understand how/why our paths crossed. During our conversation we agreed it made more sense to celebrate the fact we were each impacting the other person's life.

I think each person has to find his/her own way. Some approaches that work for me may not work for someone else. There are not necessarily right or wrong choices either. I believe keeping an open mind is the best way to fully realize the possibilities that might present themselves in our lives.

The Palette of Our Life

It has been awhile since I posted. Time to remedy that I guess.

Virtually all aspects of my life are in flux. Support from family and friends is helping me keep things moving in the right direction. I struggle with relaying how much the support is truly appreciated.

There are various thoughts that continue to cross my mind.

I have been thinking about all of the people I have encountered during my journey. The same mental (or abstract) imagery keeps surfacing. A blank canvas comes to mind. Our being is represented by general, non-precise pencil markings - an outline of sorts. The painting comes to life throughout our lifetime. There are those in our lives that have a positive impact on us - represented by bright, vibrant colors. There are also those that may have a a negative impact on us - represented by dull, dark or neutral colors.

A painting consisting of all bright (or all dark) colors will appear to be somewhat one dimensional. It would be difficult to appreciate the beauty of the image without the contrast offered by a blend of vibrant and darker colors. I think the same can be said of our lives. We are not able to truly appreciate our successes unless we have confronted and overcome challenges along the way.

Another point to consider is that we will never know which brush stroke(s) truly brings our "painting" to life. Our "painting" is always a work-in-progress. It is continually tweaked as we make our way through life. Some of the people we interact with in life are going to make pronounced brush strokes. Other interactions may result in subtle brush strokes. Trying to identify which interaction is more important would be fruitless though. Each interaction adds to the painting - or who we are as a person.

The last point may be the most important. Our "painting" will have imperfections. That is a foregone conclusion. There may be visible brush stokes, globs of paint, etc. To me, these imperfections do not detract from the painting. Instead, these imperfections make each "painting" unique. Each person's life is unique and the resulting "painting" should be considered a masterpiece in its own right.

Glimmering Stars

I have never considered myself to be much of a writer. After recent events in my life though, I felt compelled to put some of my feelings into words.

This piece is dedicated to three very special people I met while in the inpatient ward at a hospital in the region. They helped me get through some of the darkest days (after my suicide attempt) of my life.

If any part of this helps someone out there, it will have made sharing it worthwhile.

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Glimmering Stars in the Darkness of Night

Four strangers have found themselves enveloped in the pitch-black blanket of hopelessness and despair. It no longer seemed possible for light to penetrate this mantle void of anything but negativity. We all wonder…How did it ever come to this? What happened to the smiles and laughter we used to enjoy? Is this silhouette of our former selves the best we can hope for?

Though it may have happened at slightly different times, we all approached the edge of a precipice for a bottomless abyss. All of our lives, we had a safety net that would catch us if we got too close to the edge. Although our paths were different, we all arrived at the same decision. We decided that our only option was to plunge into the unknown depths…we wanted our intolerable pain to end once and for all.

Failure has always carried negative consequences for us. By twists of fate (or by destiny), a shared failure allowed us all to return to what was once the world we wanted to escape. Are we supposed to be back here? What do we do now?

We have all fought to be alive today. Our journeys have now taken us to a place that is abstract and incomprehensible. Two of us have been here before. Neither of us dreamed we would enter those white double doors again. As each of us entered this place, a sense of “What the hell are we doing here?” swept over us. How will I get help here? Who are these people?

We were all shrouded in the residual despair from what we have experienced. As we sat down in the Main Room for the first time, we spent time looking at our feet and huddling our arms and legs close to our bodies. We all felt broken.

I remember meeting the owner of a local art gallery for the first time. He was recently forced to make a difficult career decision while in this place. Another memory exists of seeing a young soccer player (from a small college in the region) for the first time. Her feet nervously tapped on the floor. Other images of a driven Pharmacy student, huddled in a chair, came to mind as well. She is shaking from a combination of the cool temperature in the room and the difficulties she has been facing. I don’t yet know who these people are. What in the world could have driven them to this place?

Over time, we drew together as a group. The looks of depression, anxiety and despair were slowly replaced by grins. Next, white teeth could be seen in smiles. At times, laughter would displace conversation. How is this possible? We are all still hurting so much.

We quickly realize we have shared experiences. All of us start to let our guards down. A shared empathy exists between all of us. Amidst the laughter, we share and listen to one another. As each of them share pieces of their journey, my heart goes out to them. I wish I could have taken their pain away.

As we gather time after time, I realize what a blessing each of these people is. I shudder to think our table of four could have been surrounded by empty chairs instead of the people that are seated in them. Some larger plan has brought us together. The fabric of our lives has been altered by one another.

We are starting to move forward with our lives. One of us will be starting a new chapter in his life tomorrow. The rest of us will follow him soon.

We all have obstacles to conquer. It may not be easy at times. It is my hope that these three kindred spirits know that I will always be pulling for them.

The dark skies now contain points of light that are burning brightly. Some of these are family members and some are friends. There are also important resources that now shine where only darkness existed.

Tears have fallen, at times, as this has been written. So many tears have fallen lately. These tears are different though. Thankfulness drives these tears. Three new glimmering stars have appeared, along with the other points of light, where only darkness could be seen before.

C.M.