Wednesday, October 24, 2012

My "Message in a Bottle"


[At one point I removed this post....I should never have done that.  This belongs to the person it was written for; it does not belong to me]

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My "Message in a Bottle"

I rarely do things like this. I realize the person this is intended for may never see this. That is ok. I still feel there is value in putting some of these thoughts down....

Sunshine,

I hope, one day, you might read these words from my heart. A tear has been shed for every letter of this message.

I have one wish. I wish we had the chance to meet at a different time and place in our lives. I wish the only challenge we had faced was to make our worlds one. Neither of us was ready for what happened...what we shared. Simply put...you captivated my heart from the moment we met.

It saddens me that our last words were not really even "goodbye." There were only intense emotions from both of us. I can only speak for myself...you forever altered me as a person. To this day, you still impact my life in different ways.

I am "me." I have always been "me." I interact with all of the same people in my life. Deep feelings and an impossible scenario were the "x-factors" we shared. I did everything I could to keep you in my life. I tried to "turn off" the love I felt for you. I was never able to do so.

You told me I was not strong enough when I realized I had to let you go. That I should be able to control my emotions. Other times you said to me that love can't be controlled. In truth, I learned, over time, I did not want to control what I was feeling. It was so beautiful and felt so true.

Please know it took all of my strength to let go of someone that came to mean so much to me. I needed to be able to move on with my life though. Your heart belonged to another. I had to honor that.

You exposed me to Paulo Coelho's writings. This is from "By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept" -

"In real life, love has to be possible. Even if it is not returned right away, love can only survive when the hope exists that you will be able to win over the person you desire.

Anything else is fantasy."

Fantasy can only sustain one for so long...

I meant what I said. I would have moved mountains to make you mine. It was not my place to do so though.

There is another quote that was shared with me recently. It is appropriate to share as well -

"If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together... there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart... I'll always be with you." ~ A.A. Milne

I have not forgotten you...I NEVER will.

:)(: Sunshine - Zawsze będziesz miał miejsce w moim sercu :)(:

I hope you find peace and happiness in whatever you do.

I wish...

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